Flawed (Triple Canopy Book 2) Read online

  “Jefferson was an ass,” he remarked, referring to Command Master Sergeant Jefferson who had reamed Jake’s behind for being in his dress uniform and carry my purse, backpack, and laptop.

  “He totally was.” I smiled at the memory.

  “There you are,” Jake whispered.

  “What?”

  “I’d forgotten how beautiful you are when you smile.” My shoulders tensed at his compliment, but before I could respond, he continued, “Let’s get out of here.”

  We filled the short walk across the street with small talk—how much the area had changed since he’d been stationed there. Me graduating from college and moving out of my parents’ house. He was surprised to hear that Hadley and I had opted to live separately but he understood why, and he would because when we were together we’d talked about how I’d always felt over-shadowed by my twin. Not that Hadley did it on purpose or with malice but the differences in our personalities leaned toward her being in the spotlight and me fading into the background.

  By the time we made it to Sprouts, I was feeling guilty for wanting to bag on lunch. There was more to Jake than the last week of our relationship. He’d been a good listener, he was kind, and he’d gone to great lengths to be gentle with me.

  When he pulled out my chair, my attitude softened, and when he took the seat across from me and ran his fingers through his hair complaining about “hat hair” I was reminded how good-looking he was. I’d been right, there was no boy left in him. Jake was all man.

  “What are you doing at the VA?” I inquired and started to look down but paused when I saw the same twitch in his cheek I had back in the lobby. But being the seasoned military professional, a beat later it was gone and I was questioning if I’d even seen it.

  “My unit’s just getting back from deployment. Routine debrief and psych evals.”

  His tone left no room for further questions. Though I had plenty.

  I looked to his right sleeve and noted the American flag patch but no special forces, sapper, airborne, or ranger tabs. Then I looked above the U.S. ARMY tape stitched on his left breast and there was no occupation patch. Nothing on his uniform gave away his MOS. The only thing I knew was he was a sergeant.

  “Do you enjoy working at the VA?” he asked.

  “I do. I only work there two days a week. I also work at a sports rehab center. But I like working with our warriors more than the rehab center. They tend to whine less.”

  Unless their name is Trey. Then they complained and whined more than the athlete who pulled a muscle.

  My attempt at levity fell short but Jake still chuckled.

  There was an uncomfortable silence as we looked over the menu. By the time the waiter came to take our order, I was rethinking lunch.

  Something about Jake was off. There was some indication the guy I’d once been in love with was still there but he was now encased in steel. But that wasn’t what was off, it was something more than that. Something simmering below the surface.

  “You wanted to talk,” I prompted.

  “Adalynn Walker, never one to procrastinate,” Jake said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

  That was me. I lived by the motto “cinch by the inch, trial by the mile” therefore I didn’t dally when something needed to get done or be said. I didn’t like things stacking up and weighing me down. So far, the way I lived my life had served me well, but his tone told me he didn’t like it.

  There was nothing to say to his comment so I remained quiet and waited him out.

  “Addy,” he started and sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

  “You didn’t,” I lied.

  “Honey, you know you have a shit poker face. I’m just nervous and don’t know how to start.”

  Well, at least he’s being honest.

  “Why don’t you start with why you wanted to have lunch with me?”

  A beat of silence stretched to darn near a minute before he finally spoke.

  “I don’t like how I left.”

  Neither did I, but we couldn’t rewind time. “There’s—”

  “I knew my deployment was going to be longer than six months and I couldn’t tell you that. I knew I’d have no communication with anyone back home and I couldn’t tell you that either. I didn’t want you waiting for me thinking I’d ghosted you. I was stuck. Either I had to let you go or leave and let you think I was ignoring you.”

  “Why couldn’t you tell me?”

  “Addy, you know why.”

  I did know why, my dad and uncles had all been in the Army. There had been times when my dad had left in the middle of the night to whereabouts unknown for an undisclosed period of time. But my dad was Special Forces. Jake was in the regular Army. The two were vastly different. He could’ve told me, he simply chose not to, but I wasn’t going to press it. There was no purpose; we’d been broken up for a long time and there was no reason to rehash the past.

  “I wasn’t regular Army, then or now,” he said as if he pulled my thoughts from my mind.

  “What?”

  “I wasn’t infantry, Addy.”

  My irritation spiked and I leaned forward. “You lied to me?”

  “I lied to everyone. My family still doesn’t know what I do.”

  “What do you do?”

  “Can’t tell you that.”

  Irritation turned to anger and I took a breath to clear my thoughts. Then I took another and another but it didn’t work. I was pissed.

  “Then why’d you bring it up? Why am I even here? So you can tell me you lied to me? Great. Thanks for the info.”

  “I wanted to explain why I broke up with you. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to leave you. I was in love with you. I thought about you every day I was gone. And when I finally made it home, there were so many times I wanted to reach out. But I knew the same thing would happen. We’d connect, then I’d have to leave and the cycle would start all over.”

  “You do remember who my dad is, right? You do know I am well acquainted with how the Army works—both regular and Special Forces. So don’t give me that crap. I grew up in a military family. One I am proud of and respect. I am fully aware of operational security and when I was with you, I was willing to stand by your side and wait. You wouldn’t’ve had to tell me how long you were going to be gone, you wouldn’t’ve had to tell me where you were going. All you would’ve had to say was ‘Addy, I’m going dark and I’ll be home when I can’ and I would’ve known what that meant and I wouldn’t have asked a damn question and you know it.”

  Jake’s face had changed during my soliloquy. He’d gone from pale to red and finally to furious.

  “I wasn’t supposed to come home.”

  I froze and tried to process his statement. Surely he wasn’t saying what I thought he was saying. The Army didn’t send units out on suicide missions. Dangerous, yes. Risky, absolutely. But certain death—no way.

  “Jake—”

  “If I’d thought for one second I’d be coming home I would’ve found a way to keep you. But I didn’t. Another reason I had to let you go. I didn’t want our reunion to be held at a cemetery with me in a pine box hosted by the U.S. government.” Then his face screwed up into a nasty scowl and he finished with, “And trust me, I haven’t forgotten who your father is.”

  Hold on a minute.

  “What’s that mean?”

  “It means Jasper Walker’s a hard man to follow. Especially if he blocks the way.”

  What in the world is he talking about?

  “Now, what does that mean?”

  “It means just that. No man will ever be as perfect as him. No man will live up to Jasper Walker. In your eyes, no man will ever love you like he does. And in his eyes, he thinks he knows what’s best for everybody.”

  Hell no. Fuck no.

  “That’s bullshit. I never compared you to my father—”

  “You compared me to him every day!” he roared and I jumped. “And when you weren’t, everyone else was. The gr
eat Jasper fucking Walker.”

  The chair legs sounded as they scraped on the floor. I felt my chair being pulled back but I didn’t take my eyes off Jake. Not even when I lost his gaze and it went over my shoulder.

  It wasn’t shock that kept me tethered to him. It was fear.

  Jake Belview was a man undone.

  4

  I’d been sitting across the café for fifteen minutes when it happened. At first, I’d thought it was my shitty luck I’d see Addy out on a date. It had taken extreme effort not to stare at the couple. But out of the corner of my eye, I could see her. Hell, if I was being truthful, I felt her discomfort from across the room. But it wasn’t until she leaned forward and scowled that I put my sandwich down and pushed my plate aside.

  Something was not right.

  And a few minutes later, I was proved correct when the guy sitting opposite her slammed his fists on the table and yelled at her. His words rumbled throughout the small restaurant but I couldn’t make them out over my fury.

  I was out of the booth and behind Addy before she could get out of her seat. Then she was behind me clutching onto my hips. The asshole who’d yelled at her knocked his chair over in his haste to stand.

  “I suggest you move—”

  “Do not speak,” I cut him off. “Addy, baby, you okay?” I felt Addy nod against my back but I didn’t take my eyes off the dickhead in front of me. So I witnessed the man turn from hostile to homicidal.

  “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” the manager tentatively said, obviously reading the situation correctly and having no desire to wade in, but his job necessitated him to.

  “We’re not done talking, Adalynn,” the dickhead said.

  “Actually, you are done,” I corrected.

  “You have no idea who I am,” Dickhead snarled.

  My gaze dropped to his name tab then to his rank insignia.

  Sergeant Belview.

  The name meant nothing to me.

  “I don’t need to know who you are to tell you if you come near Addy again you’ll be spending the last years of your life breathin’ from a tube.”

  “Big threat coming from a pretty boy.”

  “Sir. I’m gonna have to call the police—”

  The manager’s words died quick, fast, and in a hurry when Belview turned and scowled.

  “I heard you the first time,” Dickhead snapped. He turned back to me but what he was really trying to do was get a look at Addy. Luckily, her small frame wasn’t visible. “We’re not done, Addy.”

  Fuck this.

  My forward motion was halted when Addy’s hands slid from my hips and went around my waist and she pressed her chest to my back and held on for dear life. Dickhead didn’t miss her gesture nor did he hide his revulsion.

  “I see, you prefer some scarred-up punk to a real man. Thought you were worth it. But you and your daddy issues aren’t worth shit. Never were. Best thing I did was getting shot of you.”

  Addy squeezed my middle in a silent plea for me not to reply. It was needless, I was smart enough to ignore the pissant and wait for him to burn himself out. As long as Addy wasn’t in physical danger, the idiot could shout the place down and make himself look like a fool.

  I also wasn’t dumb enough to make my move in front of witnesses. No, that’d come later after I figured out who this jackass was and why he thought he had brass balls.

  “Sucker,” he muttered and jogged away.

  The manager righted the chair and asked us to leave as well. It wasn’t worth explaining that neither of us had done anything wrong. I simply pulled out my wallet, dropped a few twenties on the table, and tucked Addy to my side as we made our way through the café.

  When we hit the sidewalk I scanned the area, grateful there wasn’t a crush of people so it was easy to see the guy was gone.

  “Where are you parked?”

  “The VA.”

  “I’ll walk you—”

  “No!”

  “Addy, you’re not walking to your car alone.”

  “Jake’s at the VA.”

  “Jake?”

  “The guy. His name is Jake. He’s at the VA. Or he had an appointment there, so he’s probably parked over there.”

  Sergeant Jake Belview.

  “All right, we’ll go to my truck.”

  Addy nodded, and without argument, stayed tucked close.

  My jaw clenched at her easy acceptance. This was not Adalynn Walker. She didn’t silently follow orders, especially not from me. She certainly would never allow me to hold her.

  Motherfucker.

  There was a massive difference between shy and spineless. Addy was shy but she was no doormat.

  Unless she’s shit scared.

  There were a plethora of reasons why I wanted to throat punch Jake. Scaring Addy was at the top of that list. Shouting at her and insulting her only a notch down—a small, minute notch.

  We got to my truck, I beeped the locks, helped her in the passenger side, and rounded the tailgate. It wasn’t until my ass was planted in my seat that I finally asked, “Who was that guy?”

  Addy’s head turned to the side window. Having her in profile, I saw one side of her mouth tip down before she pinched her lips.

  I’d seen Addy smile, I’d seen her frown, I’d seen her happy, and I’d seen her pissed at me. But I’d never seen her unsure and scared.

  Fucking dick.

  “Babe, look at me.”

  She shook her head and answered, “My ex.”

  What she didn’t do was look at me. She also didn’t elaborate.

  I thought back over the months I’d known her. No one had mentioned she had a man and she’d certainly never mentioned him.

  “How long has he been giving you trouble?”

  I couldn’t imagine Jasper, her brother, or one of her many male cousins not handling the jackass, which meant she’d kept the ex from her family. That was unlike Addy—she was open, she shared, she was close to all of them.

  “I haven’t seen Jake in years.”

  That made more sense, but she still wasn’t giving me anything.

  “Baby, I don’t wanna sit here and pull every detail from you. Explain to me what just happened.”

  “So don’t.”

  “Come again?”

  “So don’t sit here and try to get the details.”

  “Addy—”

  “Don’t, Trey. Don’t pretend you care. I appreciate you coming over to the table but let’s leave it at that.”

  “You think I don’t care?”

  “I know you don’t.”

  What the fuck? My neck got tight as I stared at her staring out the window. Again, what the fuck? Why would she think I didn’t care some dick was harassing her?

  “You don’t know shit.”

  I instantly regretted my biting tone when her head whipped to the side and she squinted her pretty green eyes.

  “Really, I don’t? I know you think I’m coddled. You think I lead a perfect life. I know you avoid me, you don’t take me seriously, you don’t like me, you—”

  “I never said I didn’t like you and I never said I didn’t care about you,” I interrupted.

  But I’d said some pretty screwed-up things to her and she remembered. Of course she would, I’d behaved like an ass and hurt her feelings.

  “You have a funny way of showing someone you like them.”

  Goddammit!

  “Did you ever think maybe I wasn’t avoiding you? I was avoiding PT.”

  “You made it clear you didn’t think you needed to continue PT.”

  “No, Adalynn, I made it clear I was a prick who had his head up his ass. I avoided PT because I didn’t want to work with you, not because I didn’t need it. And not because I didn’t want to see you.”

  Her face fell, and to my absolute horror, tears pooled in her eyes.

  “I see—”

  “No, baby, you don’t, and I’m not explaining it right because I’m still being a prick.” Af
ter the afternoon she’d had, the shit that fuckwad had served her she hadn’t shed a tear, yet my stupid ass had made her cry.

  With that in mind, I took a breath and gave her the truth. “I avoided PT with you because I didn’t want you to see how screwed-up I am. I wanted you to see me a different way—not as a patient, not my injury, not my scars.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  She wouldn’t because she didn’t go to bed thinking about me the way I did her. She had no clue I didn’t want to spend time with her in the gym on a mat. I wanted her in my room on my bed. I wanted her under me, not overseeing my recovery.

  “I know you don’t, Addy. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. As you pointed out, I’m struggling with remembering what I have. I’ve been so caught up in what I lost I allowed it to shade the many things I have to be grateful for. It’s an uncomfortable realization when the light bulb clicks on and you see you’ve turned into a person you don’t like. I’m sorry I said that shit to you. It was uncool of me to take my frustration out on you. But I want you to know, I respect you, I respect the work you do, you’re good at it, and me ditching our sessions was about my ego, not your ability.”

  “Have you found someone new?”

  “No.”

  “You need to,” she murmured. “You’ve worked hard. It would be a shame to waste your efforts.”

  My hands shook with the desire to touch her. She was so close, it would be easy to reach across and unclasp her hands and take them in mine. It’d be just as easy to hook her around the neck and pull her closer and take her mouth. Either option would be good, but one would be phenomenal.

  “Do you get what I’m saying to you?”

  She nodded in the affirmative, but considering she hadn’t jumped out of my truck and run a mile, I doubted she truly understood what I was saying. If she knew how I felt and the filthy things I’d dreamt of doing to her, she’d flee.

  “Then you get I care. What happened back there was whacked in a way that’s not just fucked because he said some seriously stupid shit, but in a way, that means he’s dangerous. Straight up, Addy, there’s something wrong with that guy and I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.”

  Her eyes drifted shut and she exhaled before she reopened them. Sadness shone.