Freedom Read online

  Clark’s chuckle turned into an out-and-out laugh, and I was properly mortified. I looked around the room for no other reason than to not look at him, pretending I hadn’t just inserted my foot so far into my mouth I wished I would gag on it and end my suffering.

  “Hey! You two ready to bounce? Emily just called, and she’s upset. I have to get home,” Jasper said from the side of the ring.

  “Is she hurt?” Clark asked, moving to the ropes. He held them open for me to climb through, but he never took his eyes off Jasper.

  “No. Wedding stuff. She was crying, and I could barely understand her. Something about a fire and the venue and needing to postpone the wedding.”

  Damn. That sucked. I knew how much both Emily and Jasper were looking forward to getting married. Last night Emily had shown me all the plans for the wedding. The bed and breakfast they’d picked was perfect. They’d rented out the entire manor house so Lenox and Lily, Levi and Blake, Clark, and myself could all have rooms at the hotel. We could stay and party all night and not worry about driving. There was also a room reserved for the nanny, so the kids would be on premises, but their parents could still have fun. The next morning Emily had a huge breakfast planned. Poor Emily; she had to be crushed.

  None of us bothered to shower before piling into Clark’s Jeep.

  “Call the hotel and see if we all pitch in and help can they get up and running in time for the wedding,” Clark suggested.

  “Thanks man, but Em said they might not be reopening.”

  I remained quiet in the backseat, wishing there was something I could do for Emily and Jasper. I was touched that Clark would come up with something as thoughtful as helping the hotel rebuild so Emily could still have the wedding on time. After everything that Jasper had been through, he deserved this. As crazy as it sounded, my sister Liz would be happy for Jasper, and she’d adore Emily and Jason. They were perfect for him.

  Damn, I missed my sister. All these years later, there was still an ache in my chest. Liz was my best friend, my confidant, my protector and losing her the way we did was excruciating. There were no heartfelt goodbyes or last words. One minute she was delivering my stillborn niece, which was heartbreaking enough, and the next she’d coded and was gone. That fast. In one afternoon, both my niece and sister were dead. Jasper’s daughter never even drew her first breath or opened her eyes. She was born sleeping; an angel too perfect for this world.

  “Reagan?” Jasper’s voice broke my musing.

  “Yeah?”

  “Is that okay?”

  Was what okay? What the hell had I missed?

  “Sorry, I spaced out. What was the question?” I asked.

  “Clark suggested inviting everyone over for pizza to try and cheer Emily up. Do you mind?” Jasper repeated.

  “Of course, it’s your house.”

  “I don’t want to overwhelm you on your first night here. The guys can be… a lot to handle,” Jasper explained.

  It was nice of him to be concerned. It was even nicer that he and Emily had opened their home to me and were letting me crash there before I went down to Florida to start my new job. My apartment wouldn’t be ready for two more weeks, and I didn’t start work for a week after that. As much as I loved my parents, I didn’t want to move in with them, even if it was only for a couple of weeks. Since we’d lost Liz, my mother had turned into somewhat of a hoverer, and she’d always been a little overbearing. Who was I kidding? A little? My mother was downright bossy. She meant well, but after a few days, it was too much.

  “I’ll be fine, Jasper. Besides, I’m looking forward to meeting everyone. Emily talks about them all the time. Levi and Blake just got married, right?”

  Emily had told me all about Lenox and Lily, and Levi and Blake. What she’d failed to mention in any of our conversations was that Clark was drop-dead gorgeous.

  “They did. A few weeks ago. The day she moved down here from DC. Levi is a tad bit impulsive when it comes to Blake,” Jasper told me.

  “A tad? That’s an understatement. Levi is completely unreasonable when that woman is around,” Clark added.

  “That’s sweet.” I wish I had someone that loved me so much they became irrational around me. I’d never had that. All the guys I’d ever dated turned out to be complete assholes. I had a knack for it. If there was a douchebag in a fifty-mile radius, I’d find him, then he’d latch on to me, and I’d let him bleed me dry emotionally. But that was the old Reagan. The new Reagan was never going to be a doormat again. I was holding out for the perfect man, and until I found him, I was keeping my heart locked deep. But that didn’t mean I wouldn’t mind having a little fun in the meantime.

  “She’ll fit right in with the women,” Clark said.

  When I looked up, I caught Clark staring at me through the rearview mirror. What was it about this man that sent shivers through my body? Why did it feel like he could see more than I wanted him to? I quickly glanced away, embarrassed that I’d locked eyes with him.

  I didn’t bother replying to Clark’s comment. I was nervous enough meeting everyone; I didn’t want to know why he thought I’d fit in. His statement should’ve made me feel better, but for some reason, it didn’t. What if they didn’t like me, or they all thought it was weird that I was there? Emily had said that the group was tight; they were family. I was the sister of the mother of Jasper’s daughter. He and my sister had been high school sweethearts who’d continued to be close friends after they’d broken up. And obviously, they’d continued to have sex as well. I knew he never loved Liz the way he loves Emily, but he had loved Liz in a best friend sort of way. Maybe this was a really bad idea, me being here. Everyone was going to think it was strange. Sure they’d smile and be nice, but deep down they’d think I was an intruder. Liz’s friends always did. She was three years older than me. When we were young it wasn’t so bad, but when she was sixteen, and I was thirteen, her friends made it known they didn’t like her little sister tagging along. Liz had always told me she didn’t mind, and not to pay attention to them. After a while I stopped hanging out with her; I felt too much like an annoying hanger-on. I’d overheard a few of her friends saying they were happy I’d finally found my own friends. I hadn’t. I found books and would lock myself in my room and get lost in the pages. It was hard living in my popular, outgoing sister’s shadow. Not that she did it on purpose, but Liz was…vibrant. Everyone loved her. I was just…me. Awkward and shy.

  Shit. Was that what I was doing now? Tagging along with my sister’s ex and his friends, even though she wasn’t here anymore.

  Clark pulled into Jasper’s driveway and, me being Reagan, I blurted out exactly what I was thinking. “Maybe I should head down to Florida and stay with my mom and dad.”

  Jasper turned in his seat and asked, “Why would you do that? If it’s too much having everyone over, we don’t have to.”

  Gah! Of course, Jasper would think that was the reason.

  “I don’t want to intrude.”

  “Reagan, you’re not intruding. Emily and I want you here. She is so excited; it’s all she’s talked about for weeks.”

  Damn, damn, damn. I couldn’t bail now and have Emily think I was leaving because I was uncomfortable (though I kind of was now that I was thinking about the situation) and I didn’t like her.

  “If you’re sure.”

  “I’m positive,” Jasper smiled at me before he turned in his seat and opened his door.

  I wondered if Alesha would’ve had his smile or my sister’s? Jasper was a good-looking man. In high school, all the girls were jealous of Liz since Jasper was the “it” guy in our town. Every girl tried to catch his attention. But one thing about Jasper Walker, he was a one-woman man. He’d never glanced at another girl.

  Jasper’s door slammed shut, the loud sound making me jump in my seat.

  “Why don’t you shower and change. I’ll pick you up in thirty minutes,” Clark said.

  “Pick me up? Why?”

  “Pizza and beer.”
<
br />   “Umm. I thought everyone was coming over here.”

  Was he serious about me having to buy everyone dinner?

  “Well, seeing as we’ve established you’re good with pizza in general, but we never discussed specific styles and brands of beer, I’m thinking you better come with me.”

  Something had changed in Clark’s tone. He wasn’t playful and flirty anymore; he’d turned almost cold but in a friendly way. A friendly cold tone? Did that even make sense? Why was I thinking about Clark’s tone anyway and why was I disappointed?

  “Sure. Sounds good.” I tried to sound upbeat. I obviously failed; Clark frowned and gave me a nod but said nothing else.

  ***

  Thirty minutes later Clark was in Jasper and Emily’s living room, and I was pulling on my cutest pair of knee-high leather boots. I adjusted my socks, making sure the top inch peeked out from where the boots stopped, then smoothed down my dress and checked myself in the mirror. Shit, maybe I was over-dressed. My outfit was cute but casual. A cotton long sleeve flowy dress that came down almost to the top of my boots. I’d put on a few chunky long necklaces to dress up the outfit a little without it looking over the top. Would they think I was trying too hard? Maybe I should change into a pair of jeans and my chucks.

  Why was I always so indecisive?

  “Rea. Clark’s here,” Emily called from outside the bedroom door.

  Too late now.

  “Coming.” I grabbed my purse and opened the door, almost running smack-dab into Emily. “Damn. Sorry.”

  “Wow. You look so cute. I totally wish I could pull off an outfit like that,” she said, then added, “Clark won’t be able to keep his eyes off you.”

  Was she crazy? Emily was stunning - she had a body to die for. Not to mention, the girl had black hair and blue eyes (hello) and a perfect complexion that made me feel like an ugly duckling standing next to her.

  “Girl, you’re nuts. I’d trade you my dress for your blue eyes in a New York minute. You can borrow the dress if you want.”

  Emily didn’t respond but instead stared at me, and I struggled not to squirm. What was it with her and Clark? Why did they both look at me like I was a zoo animal?

  “I’m really happy you’re here,” Emily said and grabbed my hand. “Really happy. Jasper is too. You’re family Reagan, don’t forget that.”

  I was going to kill Jasper. He’d shared. The last thing Emily needed right now was to worry about my feelings. She had a wedding crisis to deal with.

  “Thank you. I’m happy to be here.”

  What else could I say? Emily and I were still getting to know each other and we’d yet to address the elephant in the room – Liz and Alesha.

  “Come on, Clark’s waiting.” Emily wiggled her eyebrows.

  Oh no. I knew what that meant. She was playing little matchmaker.

  “You know that Clark is just being nice, right?” I whispered.

  “Clark isn’t nice, Reagan.”

  What the hell did that mean? He’d seemed perfectly pleasant earlier. I was the queen of the asshole-magnets, but there was no way Jasper would be best friends with a dick, and he’d never allow one around Emily and Jason.

  “What are you trying to say?” I asked.

  “You’ll learn these men are a lot of things; however, just nice is not one of them. Protective, bossy, take charge – yes.”

  “Now you’re kinda scaring me. And Jasper is nice.”

  “Jasper is not nice. He is thoughtful and gentle with those he loves.”

  “Isn’t that the definition of nice?” I asked.

  “No. It is something else entirely. There is no defining these men. It’s not something I can explain to you. You’ll have to learn it on your own.”

  “Yeah… definitely terrified now.”

  “Don’t be. Hold on tight and enjoy the ride.”

  Emily had lost her ever-loving mind. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about.

  “There is nothing going on with Clark. I promise.”

  “Okay.” She laughed.

  When we got into the living room, Clark and Jasper were both standing looking at something rolled out on the kitchen table. The moment they noticed us, Jasper quickly rolled up the papers. Maybe they’d been looking at secret wedding plans and didn’t want Emily to see.

  I smiled at the guys thinking Emily was wrong – they were nice.

  “Ready?” Clark asked.

  I tried to ignore the annoyance that was rolling off him in waves and looked back at Emily who was weirdly smiling.

  “Sure am. Let’s hit the road, Jack.” I turned to Jasper. “See ya in a while.”

  “Yeah.”

  Great, now Jasper sounded weird too. This was such a bad idea – all of it.

  Clark made it to the passenger door before I did and opened it.

  See? Nice.

  “Thanks,” I muttered and got in.

  When he started the Jeep, Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train” was blaring through the speakers. I couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped.

  “Sorry,” Clark said, turning the volume down. “You can change the playlist if you want.”

  “No, it’s fine. I love Ozzy.”

  “Seriously? Aren’t you a little young to like him?” Clark asked.

  “As if! I snuck out to L.A. when I was sixteen to catch the Black Sabbath reunion tour. My parents were so pissed; I was grounded the entire summer. But it was so worth it.”

  “Christ.”

  I didn’t know what that meant, so I remained quiet and listened to the song, thinking how I was definitely on a crazy train and it was moving at full speed, and fast approaching the station.

  We pulled into a mom and pop pizzeria, and Clark declared, “Best pizza in Georgia.”

  “Is there such a thing?” I asked.

  “What’s that?”

  “Best pizza. I mean, we’re in Georgia. Best pizza is normally reserved for describing pizza in New York or Jersey, or even Chicago. Now they have great pizza. Montana, not so much. We have a chain store pizza which is only a step up from the frozen kind. I would imagine Georgia is the same way.”

  Clark’s lips twitched like he thought my little outburst was amusing instead of what it was – embarrassing. Why did he make me so nervous that I had verbal vomit spew every time I opened my mouth around him?

  “When you said you like pizza in general, I hadn’t realized you were a connoisseur.” Fuck. I was so dumb. “Hey. Look at me,” he demanded. “I’m just joking with you.”

  “Okay.”

  Something flashed across his face before his smile returned.

  “Come on, and prepare to be wowed.”

  I got out of the Jeep and prayed I’d be able to refrain from saying anything else that would make me sound like more of an idiot.

  And why did I care so much what he thought of me? I was here for two weeks. After I left, I’d more than likely never see him again.

  Chapter Three

  Reagan chewed on her bottom lip as she looked over the menu. She looked so damn cute. I wanted to tease her about needing to look at the topping chart at a pizza shop. They were all the same, didn’t matter what state you were in – pepperoni was pepperoni. But I didn’t. Something had changed when I joked with her in the Jeep, and now she seemed self-conscious.

  We ordered, waited for the pizza (in near silence), and we were now back in the Jeep. I’d given her the time she looked like she needed while we were in the restaurant and didn’t pry.

  Now that we had privacy, all bets were off. I was going to pry. I didn’t like the worried look on her face. I don’t know why that was, but I didn’t.

  “What’s goin’ on?” I asked.

  “What do you mean?” She was looking out the passenger window and was worrying her lip again, drawing my attention to their fullness. For a second I’d forgotten what I was going to ask as I wondered if her gloss was the fruity kind. If I kissed her what flavor would I taste?

  What. The.
Hell? Moving on.

  “Let’s see, at the gym, you were upbeat and happy. On the way to Jasper’s you were quiet and suggested you stay with your parents. After that, you said you didn’t want to intrude. Now, you’re still quiet and thoughtful. So, what’s wrong?”

  “Can I ask you something?” she asked, instead of answering.

  “Sure.” I couldn’t promise I would answer, but I left that part out.

  “Do you think it’s weird I’m here? I mean, it is, right? I’m Liz’s sister. The history I have with Jasper. I’m afraid that you all will think I’m some sort of interloper in Emily and Jasper’s life. I’m happy for Jasper. I swear I am. He deserves to be happy. I can’t wait for him and Emily to get married. Emily’s told me how close you all are, and I don’t want anyone to think that they have to be nice to me even though they don’t want me around. Shit. Forget I said all that. Maybe I should shut up because I think I just made an ass out of myself.”

  I was in trouble. Big fucking trouble.

  In the few hours I’d been around Reagan I’d learned one very important thing about her. She was who she was. How did I know this? Because she let it all hang out. No pretense, no forethought to what she said, she just blurted out whatever came to mind. It didn’t matter if we were talking about pizza or her insecurities, she was honest.

  I liked that, a whole fuck of a lot.

  All of that made her dangerous; that, paired with the way she looked, the way she dressed, and the way she smelled.

  I was fucked.

  After tonight I had to make myself busy for the next two weeks she was here. Reagan was like Jasper’s little sister, and she was young. Ten years younger than me and still wet behind the ears. Just thinking about all the dirty things I wanted to do to her made me feel like a creepy old man.

  “Who you are is not a secret. If I'm honest, at first, when I found out you were coming to stay I thought it was a little weird.” Reagan’s eyes widened, and she started to fidget. “But then I thought about it. Why should it be weird? Take your sister and your niece out of the picture; you and Jasper have been friends for a long time. What happened was horrible. I can’t tell you how sorry I am you lost your sister. My brother.” I had to stop and take a breath. I couldn’t believe I was getting ready to say this. “He died too. I don’t think I was as close to him as you were to your sister, but I still know the pain of losing a sibling.”